If this were the first episode being recorded, Chu Yueyi would never have sought out Shi Guanghua for a private chat. But the situation was different now, as they were already filming the seventh episode.
The two returned to an empty conference room. Chu Yueyi locked the door with a click, drawing a surprised look from Shi Guanghua. She met his gaze directly and asked bluntly, "What?"
Her tone was casual, not seeming to contain any anger, but her aura hadn't weakened at all.
Shi Guanghua averted his eyes, lowering his gaze. "Nothing."
Compared to his sullenness, Chu Yueyi was completely at ease. She seemed to be in control of the situation as she casually gestured, "Sit wherever you like."
Facing her calm demeanor now, Shi Guanghua felt a strange sense of unfamiliarity. She usually wore a gentle smile, occasionally making harmless jokes off-camera, but always maintaining an approachable state. He had never seen her with such an impassive expression before. Or perhaps it wasn't so much impassive as it was a detached indifference.
After a moment of silence, Shi Guanghua pulled out a nearby chair and slowly sat down.
Chu Yueyi didn't start talking immediately. She first circled the conference room, making sure the production team had removed all the equipment. Only then did she stroll back to her original spot by the door and said unhurriedly, "You go ahead and speak first. What did you mean?"
"I should give you time to organize your thoughts too."
Shi Guanghua hadn't expected her to turn the tables, making him explain first. His mind had been wandering since entering the room, so he naturally couldn't respond, only staring at her wordlessly.
Chu Yueyi was used to his tight-lipped attitude. She didn't try to force him to speak, nodding slowly instead. "Alright, then I'll start."
Shi Guanghua sat by the conference table while Chu Yueyi leaned against the door. They faced each other, their expressions inscrutable.
Chu Yueyi took a deep breath. Looking directly at Shi Guanghua, she frankly shared her opinion: "The production of a variety show involves at least hundreds of people, not to mention the costs of equipment, venues, and time. The guests are just the main personnel of the team, to be honest, they're not that important. Bringing emotions into work, I find it very unprofessional."
She wasn't here to argue with Shi Guanghua. Sulking was something children did; adults should understand what's important. There were some things she could go along with, but there were others she wouldn't compromise on.
When they were joking around, he could have his little tantrums, but once recording started, he had to know where to draw the line.
If Shi Guanghua had been harboring any illusions at first, her words shattered them completely, like a bucket of ice water poured over his head, forcing him to face the harsh, cold reality.
He had initially thought that if she offered any explanation, he could accept it all, pretending to forget everything on the spot.
If she said it, he would believe it. He had always been helpless against her.
He had even thought about saying outright: "Just coax me, I'm easy to appease."
However, she didn't even have the intention to fool him, instead stating things rationally and objectively.
Zou Qian had said she was an emotionless work machine.
He hadn't quite understood before, but now he suddenly realized, as if waking from a dream.
Shi Guanghua stared into her crystal-clear eyes. Even though he maintained a blank expression, his fingertips trembled uncontrollably, forcing him to clench his fists and pull back his hands, his knuckles turning white from the effort.
His voice was low and hoarse, as if using the last ounce of strength in his body, he asked, "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"
Chu Yueyi pondered for a few seconds before calmly replying, "If you have any issues with me, you can bring them up privately. But affecting others' work in front of the cameras, I'm sorry, but I can't accept that."
She had been able to accept his slightly flawed performance earlier because she understood he wasn't used to filming shows. But now he was clearly venting his anger out of spite, which was a problem with his work attitude. Ability and attitude were two different things, and this was almost touching her bottom line.
Shi Guanghua let out a self-mocking laugh. "Ha."
Faced with her rational attitude, he suddenly realized at this moment that he was a complete fool, and the most self-deluded, self-important kind at that.
She had probably disliked him for a long time, while he had been secretly delighting in his own fantasies.
Just thinking about it made him almost hate himself.
What special treatment, what favoritism – it was all in his imagination.
She had shown so many signs: she had asked him why he joined the show, she had said there was no need to be so fake off-camera, she had focused solely on work since her debut with no scandals... Yet he had willfully ignored all of this, indulging in the illusion he had built, mistakenly thinking he was somehow different.
Humans truly are creatures skilled at self-deception. Once you foolishly fall for someone, even if they don't care about you, you'll find countless excuses for them. Always thinking they're just shy about expressing themselves, or not ready yet, when in fact they simply don't care.
He hadn't been unable to understand her attitude before; he had just been unwilling to understand. Perhaps his subconscious couldn't accept it, which is why he had allowed his emotions to run wild.
But now he had woken up.
At the very least, he couldn't be so ridiculous as to make her dislike him.
He needed to rein in his emotions and stop making a fool of himself.
Shi Guanghua's nails dug deep into his palms, his lips pressed tightly together as he tried to control himself. After a few seconds, he gradually pulled himself out of the tide of emotions and said steadily, "Can I understand it this way – we just need to work together to film the show well?"
"Yes, it's not like anyone comes to film a dating show to actually fall in love."
Hearing this, even though he had already woken from his dream, there was still a dull ache in his chest. He struggled to respond, "...You're right."
He had known all along that she wasn't interested in romance, yet he had still seen her participation in a dating show as a signal. This too was a stupid and laughable action.
He had witnessed her journey, from a student crying secretly in the recording studio to a reliable actress who could stand on her own. He should have been the person who understood her best, yet he had still harbored such an absurd and ridiculous misconception.
When he had admired her from afar, he had seen clearly. But up close, he had become confused.
It was her unwavering radiance that had attracted him in the first place, so what right did he have to complain now?
Shi Guanghua's eyes were dark and heavy. He suddenly unclenched his tightly held fists, leaning back in his chair as if utterly exhausted.
Noticing that he was no longer tense, Chu Yueyi, still unaware of the source of their conflict, spoke gently, "If you're dissatisfied with me, you can tell me now. If it's reasonable, I'll do my best to change."
Her face was now full of sincerity, her bright almond eyes brimming with authenticity, as if she could only see him, almost causing him to misunderstand again.
Fortunately, he wouldn't be so narcissistic anymore.
Shi Guanghua shook his head. "No, I'm not dissatisfied."
She truly hadn't done anything wrong; he was the one causing trouble.
Chu Yueyi frowned in disapproval, clearly not believing his words.
"I'm just a bit confused."
Shi Guanghua's usually reliable intuition seemed to fail completely when it came to her, becoming vague, hollow, and illusory. He relied on his feelings for work and creation, but his feelings had proven so unreliable, completely altering his previous perceptions.
His voice trembling, he asked, "Are you this nice to all your colleagues? If it were other guests, would you treat them the same way?"
"Being so accommodating during the show, taking care of everything off-camera."
Were all their shared moments just an illusion? Faced with his wavering gaze, his eyes flickering with shattered starlight, Chu Yueyi found herself unable to meet his eyes and fell silent.
Li You had asked a similar question, and she had been able to respond immediately. But facing him, she couldn't.
She didn't know what answer to give, finally squeezing out an ambiguous sound.
"Mm."
The starlight in his eyes dimmed completely.
He wore a look of loss, then softly remarked, "Then you truly are very kind."
A moment later, Chu Yueyi exited the company building. The biting winter wind whipped against her face, clearing her thoughts. Recalling her awkwardness when answering Li You, she finally realized where her inconsistency lay.
She had said she would act the same way no matter who she was filming with, but in truth, if it wasn't for him, she would have chosen to leave the show long ago.
But did that matter?
It didn't.
Her initial thoughts when joining the show had been genuine too.
She had never lied, it was just that truth and fiction had become intertwined.
Chu Yueyi didn't know if her conversation with Shi Guanghua had been effective. She didn't want to guess at his thoughts now, even feeling a sense of helplessness, as if things couldn't get any worse.
She suddenly felt a bit tired, no longer wanting to motivate anyone.
In the conference room, Shi Guanghua sat alone in a chair for a long time. He inadvertently glanced at the gray elastic band on his wrist, which seemed jarring at that moment and evoked a bitter emotion.
He wanted to reach out and remove it, but as soon as he touched it, he couldn't bring himself to do so.
Her first request was for him to always wear it.
His first request was that when she faced him, he hoped her smiles would be genuine. If she didn't want to smile, she didn't have to, and even getting angry was okay.
He couldn't help but laugh at how naive and childish he had been to say such things in front of the camera back then.
She must have been quite exhausted too.
At that time, he had no idea that he might not be able to handle her true reactions. It would make him feel overwhelmed, as if drowning in a vast ocean, experiencing a suffocating sense of being in a desperate situation.
Shi Guanghua leaned his head back. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, easing the nearly numb pain in his heart. Only then did he slowly open his eyes, clarity returning to his gaze as he gradually calmed down.
He suddenly experienced an unprecedented calmness, perhaps because the pain had been so intense that he no longer felt its acute sting.
There were no multiple-choice questions in his life, so there was no room for regret.
Although there were many misunderstandings between them, his original intention when making the request hadn't changed. He wanted to see her genuine smile. Even if it was an absurd promise, it was his sincere wish at that moment and his initial motivation for joining the show.
No one comes to a dating reality show to actually fall in love.
He had only wanted to see the smile from his memories once, but somehow he had become greedy.
His original intention hadn't changed, and that was enough.
Shi Guanghua looked at the elastic band on his wrist and adjusted his sleeve. He regained his composure.
Even if the participants had developed rifts, the show must go on.
The next day, when Chu Yueyi arrived at the music video shooting location, she had fully prepared herself mentally to face Shi Guanghua's withdrawn and sullen attitude. To her surprise, he had undergone a transformation overnight.
Shi Guanghua had arrived at the set early and seemed to have already arranged some things. He took the initiative to greet her, "Good morning."
Seeing him act as if nothing had happened, Chu Yueyi felt slightly uneasy and replied, "...Morning."
Shi Guanghua's attitude towards her seemed to have changed, yet also remained the same, inexplicably composed.
Chu Yueyi couldn't quite describe it. They didn't seem estranged, but it wasn't like before either. It was more like the atmosphere between Shi Guanghua and Cheng. Had she become like a brother to him after one conversation?
Chu Yueyi's current mood was complex, but this seemed to be a positive change. Shi Guanghua fully cooperated with the show's recording, and he was also highly efficient in completing the music video shooting work, proving to be an exemplary partner.
He was already familiar with music video production, and his ideas on set were insightful. He focused intently on communicating with the director, revealing only his handsome and dedicated profile.
This was the day Shi Guanghua came closest to his persona on music shows.
Neither awkward nor dazed, he was fully the great musician.
After they each completed their individual shots, it was time for their scenes together.
Remembering Shi Guanghua's reluctance yesterday, Chu Yueyi had thought he wouldn't want to be near her. To her surprise, before the director could speak, he took the initiative to hold her hand, assuming a dancing position.
His fingers were long, his palm warm and dry, holding her with just the right amount of pressure as he stood gentlemanly by her side.
Chu Yueyi turned her head in astonishment, meeting his clear black eyes, which reflected her startled face.
In the past, Shi Guanghua often appeared shy and wasn't particularly proactive. This was an unprecedented move, naturally catching her off guard.
Shi Guanghua had previously been like a person experiencing first love, naturally hesitant in many ways. Now that the truth had been revealed, rational thought took precedence. Even though she had no feelings for him, he should cooperate with her to perfectly record this season of the show.
He began to think in terms of performance, understanding many things.
He shouldn't let her take the initiative, shouldn't let her lose face in front of the camera, shouldn't let her have moments of awkwardness.
He suddenly realized how difficult it must have been for her before.
So he had to change.
Because they were shooting a music video, there was a need for styling, so they weren't carrying the show's audio equipment. The producers couldn't record their whispers.
Shi Guanghua was still unsure of the appropriate boundaries. Seeing Chu Yueyi slightly dazed, he could only lower his head and whisper in her ear, his voice like a low cello.
"Since we're cooperating to shoot the show well, there will definitely be physical contact, otherwise it would seem unprofessional." His tone was light and casual. Noticing her unusual expression, he slightly loosened his grip, "Or is it that you can't accept this kind of performance? In that case, I..."
To be honest, he didn't understand the boundaries of dating reality shows. If she felt even a bit uncomfortable, they could cut the movements from the music video.
Hearing his nonchalant words, Chu Yueyi caught the word "performance" from his mouth for the first time, suddenly feeling a sense of being challenged. She felt his hand loosen and immediately gripped back firmly, saying calmly, "I can accept it."
If any other male participant had said this, she would have thought they were being considerate. But this was the frequently disconnected Shi Guanghua - what could he understand about variety shows and performances? This was clearly passive-aggressive behavior.
Cooperate to shoot the show well, unprofessional, performance - weren't these all the words from yesterday's argument?
There must be something behind this unusual behavior; he was clearly taking a dig at her!
She had called him unprofessional, so he came to pick a fight.
Meanwhile, the music video director finished shooting this take and began to give directions, calling out loudly, "Alright, please move closer together!"
Just as Shi Guanghua was about to lean in closer to her, he saw her tilt her head up, their faces almost touching, causing his breath to catch slightly.
She proactively moved closer to him, her soft lips just inches away, below which was her elegant swan-like neck, appearing both fair and delicate.
Their breaths mingled, and from a distance, it looked as if they were about to kiss, making the air feel heated.
"I think I told you before, I was going easy on you in the past."
She whispered in his ear, her warm, soft breath brushing past, causing his heart to tremble.
He lost himself in her gaze, instantly defeated.
"You seem to be blushing," Chu Yueyi stared intently at his face, then revealed a faint smile, as if seeing the familiar, flustered version of him again.
She chuckled teasingly, "Weren't you going to perform? Be more professional, outsider."