"Some students! I don't know how their brains work! They don't do anything proper, and after descending to the mortal realm, they just stand there stealing food, not even realizing when their invisibility talisman wears off, still eating away! When caught, they don't even know to explain properly, apologize and pay compensation. Instead, they use magic to vanish into thin air in front of so many people... And you're still whispering over there, I'm talking about you—Chen Hai!" The Recorder of Fate was so angry his hands were shaking, his beard almost crooked.
Chen Hai immediately drooped his head dejectedly.
The Recorder of Fate put his hands behind his back and continued scolding, "Chen Hai, you'll write a 3000-word self-criticism about your descent to the mortal realm today. You can't go back until it's finished. Besides Chen Hai's incident, five other students in our class secretly used magic and were caught on human surveillance cameras! Qi Yue had to secretly resolve this matter for you, so you also need to write a 1000-word self-criticism..."
The Recorder of Fate was on the podium, admonishing students who had recklessly used magic in the mortal realm.
But Ruan Qiuping's name wasn't on the list of offenders.
Evidently, his acceleration spell, which wasn't even faster than a car, was too weak to be detected by the monitoring bracelet due to its feeble power.
Well, after all, his cultivation had been stagnant for over 100 years, and after descending to the mortal realm, it was further weakened by nine-tenths. It was only natural that his magic would be somewhat inferior.
Ruan Qiuping wasn't ashamed of this. On the contrary, he felt it was an extremely fortunate thing.
He hummed softly in his heart, lowered his head with joy, and began to fill out the Tribulation Experiencer's Record Book that the teacher had just handed out.
As he filled it out, Ruan Qiuping's happiness gradually faded.
Glancing at his wrist where he had once been handcuffed, thinking about how he had been fooled by that mere 5-year-old Yu Huan, Ruan Qiuping gritted his teeth and began to write in the "Recorded Subject's Flaws" column: cunning, treacherous, full of schemes, a mouth full of lies...
Not enough space, he'd have to write smaller.
After cramming in over a dozen flaws for Yu Huan, Ruan Qiuping finally let out a long sigh and put down his pen.
The next line: "Recorded Subject's Merits."
No merits, skip it!
Ruan Qiuping pursed his lips and continued filling out the content below.
"Recorded Subject's Today's Itinerary."
Ruan Qiuping's pen paused for a moment. According to regulations, he shouldn't have met Yu Huan, nor should he have had too much interaction with him. Therefore, he could only erase any traces of his own existence from the record.
"After running away from home, the recorded subject hid next to a paint bucket in an abandoned factory. He was discovered by people from an illegal slaughterhouse and fled. He searched for someone willing to adopt him but was rejected. Finally, he was caught and taken back home."
Looking at this record without any trace of himself, Ruan Qiuping felt something was off.
"You can take the record books home to write. Turn them in tomorrow morning. Those who have been punished with writing self-criticisms, stay behind. The rest can go home!" said the Recorder of Fate.
As soon as Ruan Qiuping returned home, he saw his father waiting for him at the door, looking jubilant.
"Why so happy?" Ruan Qiuping asked expectantly, "Did something good happen?"
Ruan Shengfeng brought out a small box from behind his back, looking smug: "Qiuping, guess what this is?"
"What is it? So mysterious!" Ruan Qiuping was genuinely curious.
While opening the intricate box, Ruan Shengfeng said, "Today, I took Dong Dong to the trading forest. Maybe that jade pendant you gave Dong Dong worked its magic. Dong Dong had exceptionally good luck today, winning big in several games we played. So I took her to play with mystery boxes..."
Ruan Qiuping couldn't help but laugh and cry: "Dad! With our family's luck, how dare you play with mystery boxes? Have you forgotten how we lost those two big golden lions?"
"Oh, don't be impatient, let me finish..."
"Go on, go on."
"Then, I took Dong Dong to play with a mystery box, the cheapest one. Guess what Dong Dong got—Dong Dong actually got a Golden Qi Soul-condensing Pill that the Taoist Ancestor spent ten thousand years refining!" As Ruan Shengfeng finished speaking, the pill box opened, revealing a shimmering golden pill inside.
"...Golden Qi Soul-condensing Pill?"
"Yes, it's that pill that can enhance a deity's cultivation! You've been stuck in a bottleneck for over 100 years without improving your cultivation, right? With this pill, you'll definitely break through the bottleneck... What's that nonsense about the God of Fortune experiencing tribulations and then being canonized? My son will break through his bottleneck and be canonized as a god right away! After becoming a god, you'll be a true God of Misfortune. Then you'll be able to control bad luck at will, and you won't be as unlucky as you are now..."
Ruan Qiuping twitched the corner of his mouth: "Dad, that's far off. Don't daydream. With my lousy cultivation, to experience tribulations and become a god, it'll probably take tens of thousands of years..."
"Nonsense, how could it take tens of thousands of years? That Yu Huan, your brother-in-law, is going to experience tribulations and become a god in just over two hundred years. My son is no worse!"
Tsk tsk, just a moment ago it was "that damn God of Fortune," and now he's become "my son-in-law"...
"Hurry up and eat this pill, then go practice right away. Set a small goal first, strive to become a god within 100 years!" With that, Ruan Shengfeng magically transferred the pill into Ruan Qiuping's hand.
Ruan Qiuping put the pill away and said, "My constitution is better suited to taking medicine while practicing, it's better absorbed that way."
"That works too, just remember to take it later."
"By the way," Ruan Qiuping peered into the house, "where's Dong Dong? Why isn't she home?"
Ruan Shengfeng rubbed his nose and said, "Dong Dong... well, Dong Dong's luck has been good these past couple of days! Your mom took her out."
"Where did they go?" Ruan Qiuping suddenly had an ominous feeling.
"...To the Gate of Vanity Management Office."
"What for?"
"Well... your sister has a marriage contract with Yu, the little God of Fortune, on the Celestial Marriage Stone, right? But your sister is still young, it'll be over a decade before she can officially marry. Your mom's afraid that if it's delayed too long, that Yu fellow might change his mind. After all, by then he'll have become a true god and won't fear those dozens of lightning bolts... So, so your mom thought about applying for a mortal realm tour. Going down for a dozen or so days would be equivalent to a dozen or so years there. When they come back, your sister will be a grown woman and can get married... It's called the Time Difference Growth Method, it was quite popular when I was young..."
"What nonsense Time Difference Growth Method! Dad! You agreed to this?!"
"I... I didn't agree! It was your mom who insisted on doing this."
No, no, no... Must find a way to stop this...
Just then, Xia Fushui came from afar, carrying Ruan Dongdong with a sour expression on her face.
That expression meant it didn't work out.
Ruan Qiuping let out a sigh of relief and instinctively took a few more steps back, distancing himself from Ruan Dongdong.
"I'm so angry." Xia Fushui handed Ruan Dongdong to Ruan Shengfeng and complained, "The people at the Gate of Vanity Management Office said inspections are strict recently and told me to come back in two months. But in two months, the God of Fortune Yu will be back... The two people in front of me got their applications approved, why not me... Wasn't Dong Dong wearing the God of Fortune's jade pendant? I don't see it working much..."
Well done! God of Fortune's jade pendant!
Ruan Qiuping secretly gave it a thumbs up in his heart.
After completing his daily two-hour fixed practice session, Ruan Qiuping returned to his room to ponder countermeasures.
He walked to the window and lifted the curtain, looking towards Ruan Dongdong's room in another building.
It seemed that finding a deeply memorable lover for Yu Huan was now an urgent matter.
Now even that so-called "Time Difference Growth Method" had emerged. Who knows what other tricks his respected mother would come up with in the future.
Today's descent to the mortal realm had some issues and he couldn't attend to the main task. Tomorrow, he must absolutely find a childhood sweetheart for Yu Huan!
Ruan Qiuping was full of fighting spirit!
Just as he was about to wash up and sleep, his peripheral vision caught sight of the Today's Good Things Record Book on the desk, which he had been writing in for a long time.
There were no good things today, no need to write.
No, he must write.
His life was already so unlucky, if he didn't dig out some beautiful moments from his daily life, how could he go on living?
Ruan Qiuping shook his head wistfully, wiped away non-existent tears from the corners of his eyes, sat down in the chair, and began to record today's good things.
Well, actually, there were... good things.
It's just that when he thought about being tricked later, he didn't want to admit it.
Today, someone innocent and fearless said to him, "If I catch your bad luck, does that mean you won't be unlucky anymore?"
Moreover, it was his first time making a promise with someone else. That person wanted him to keep his word, that person was waiting for him.
Also...
Ruan Qiuping glanced at his right hand holding the pen.
Today was the first time he held hands with someone, and they even walked hand in hand the whole way.
Ruan Qiuping took a deep breath, preparing to close his notebook.
Don't think about it anymore, perhaps all of this was just a trick by that little liar.
But...
Ruan Qiuping still lowered his head and recorded all of this in his notebook.
...
Without realizing it, he had filled the entire page.
Ruan Qiuping was stunned for a moment, then he turned to a new page in the notebook and wrote:
"Seventh good thing: Today's good things record filled an entire page for the first time."
.
"Childhood sweetheart, childhood sweetheart, childhood sweetheart..."
Before descending to the mortal world, Ruan Qiuping kept repeating in his heart.
"I must find a deep, emotional childhood sweetheart for Yu Huan..."
Three seconds later.
Ruan Qiuping successfully descended to the mortal world.
He opened his eyes, grief-stricken to the point of despair: "Heavens above, in this isolated mountain villa, where on earth am I supposed to find a childhood sweetheart for that little brat?!"
"Child... childhood sweetheart... what's that?!"
A small, soft, familiar voice suddenly came.
Ruan Qiuping was stunned for a moment, looking around, but there was no one in sight.
Auditory hallucination?
"Big brother..."
Another call came.
Ruan Qiuping touched his ears, somewhat doubting if his hearing had gone bad. Otherwise, why would he hear Ruan Dongdong's voice here?
He looked around again, suddenly noticing that his clothes pocket was bulging. Opening the pocket, Ruan Qiuping suddenly found an unfamiliar pouch inside.
This was no ordinary pouch, but a Universe Pouch, capable of holding up to 30 jin (about 15 kg) of weight.
Ruan Qiuping suddenly had a very bad feeling.
With trembling hands, he untied the string of the Universe Pouch. The pouch suddenly enlarged, and the chubby Ruan Dongdong crawled out from inside.
Ruan Dongdong stood on the ground, curiously reaching out to grab the nearby flowers and grass.
At this moment, Ruan Qiuping saw a note still inside the Universe Pouch.
It was in Xia Fushui's handwriting.
"I found a way to descend to the mortal world, but I can't bring Dong Dong along. Please take care of her for a while, I'll be there soon. Also, try not to touch your sister."
Ruan Qiuping's hands shook with anger.
— So when official procedures for descending couldn't be arranged, they resorted to smuggling, huh? How desperate was his old mother to marry off Dong Dong?!
"You really came!" An exclamation of joy that couldn't be concealed rang out.
Ruan Qiuping looked towards the source of the voice.
He saw the delicate-featured boy running towards him with delight on his face. Due to running so fast, a blush quickly spread across the boy's pure white cheeks. He was breathing lightly, but didn't mind at all. Only his eyes were bright and shining, like glowing diamonds: "I actually waited until..."
Before little Yu Huan could finish his sentence, he stopped abruptly. His gaze fixed on Ruan Dongdong behind Ruan Qiuping, and the smile slowly faded from his face.
Through the black railings of the villa, the boy looked at Ruan Qiuping, his eyes as dark as ink, his voice filled with undisguised resentment: "...You couldn't take me away, but you can raise other children?"