Su Lian turned his head in slight surprise to look at him. The night was deep, and no one noticed this sudden moment.
Their two hands intertwined shamelessly, hidden beneath the hem of a shirt in a corner where ambiguity flourished.
Chi Wang's fingers tightened around Su Lian's cold hand, his expression and tone very serious: "I don't know what you're sighing about, but if you want to hold onto something, there's nothing you can't grasp. For example, right now, I've got hold of you. If you don't want to let go, I won't let go either."
So going back to the beginning, could he still grasp both family love and romantic love?
Or would it be another fleeting moment, disappearing once again?
A jumble of thoughts flashed through Su Lian's mind. He didn't know what to say, only lowering his eyes to look at their clasped hands.
The back of his hand, chilled by the night breeze, was continuously covered by warmth, as if the last bit of autumn had been swept away completely.
Chi Wang was indeed gentle at his core. Even though he didn't know about the heavy burdens Su Lian carried in his heart, he could still offer comfort in his own way.
Su Lian gently squeezed his fingertips in return. The sweeping lights from across suddenly flashed over them for a second, shining brightly on the two of them, as bright as day, leaving nothing hidden.
He noticed the glances of passersby, his cheeks flushing slightly for a moment before he abruptly let go.
Chi Wang was clearly straight, yet he was making such a gesture just to comfort him.
However, the act of two boys holding hands was a bit beyond the bounds of friendship, not quite appropriate.
Su Lian opened his palm, grabbed Chi Wang's wrist and tossed his hand aside, then turned to lean on the railing, pretending to look at the night view across the river.
Chi Wang followed his gaze and said, "The light rail is gone for the night, but the lights will stay on all night. It's very beautiful."
"Mm, very beautiful," Su Lian replied, his gaze unfocused, not sure which building he was looking at.
His thoughts were in disarray, leaving him no energy to think further.
"What are you two whispering about?" Gu Anjiu pulled out a few cans of beer from a plastic bag nearby, handing one to each person. He said casually, "Brought these from the Sichuan restaurant. With such a great atmosphere, we can't not have a drink, right?"
Lin Yan raised his hand to open a can, his gaze sweeping over Chi Wang almost imperceptibly as he teased, "That's right, at least someone can use the courage from alcohol to make a bold confession."
"You all knew he was going to confess today?" Su Lian asked in surprise, looking around at everyone.
Gu Anjiu coughed lightly, tilting his head back to take a big gulp of beer to hide his embarrassment. "Yeah, it's not exactly a secret."
Su Lian chuckled wryly. It was indeed very like something Chi Wang would do, not caring about consequences, letting the whole world know before anything had even happened.
He nudged Chi Wang with his elbow and said in a low voice, "It's past ten already. Why are you still dawdling instead of going to confess?"
"Are you so eager to send me off?" Chi Wang raised an eyebrow slightly, asking in return.
Su Lian held the cold beer can, feeling conflicted. "Didn't you prepare for this for a long time? You've been talking about today for weeks. I'm worried that if you don't show up, the person you're confessing to might get anxious waiting for you."
Chi Wang lowered his eyes slightly and smiled softly.
He had good taste indeed; the person he liked was truly a gentle young man. Despite appearing cold on the outside, he was softer than anyone on the inside.
Without even knowing who the confession was for, he was already considering things from that person's perspective.
He tilted his chin up slightly, letting the evening breeze brush his face. "I'm scared. Scared of being rejected. It would be very embarrassing."
Chi Wang wasn't lying. Even after psyching himself up for so long, when faced with Su Lian, he still hesitated to speak.
All his previous self-proclaimed reckless boldness seemed to have vanished at this moment, turning him into a timid coward.
At present, apart from knowing that Su Lian had once liked a boy, he couldn't discern any clues about Su Lian's attitude towards him.
He really had no confidence in Su Lian's reaction. If rejected, the two of them would probably end up in an extremely awkward situation.
He dared not imagine the consequences if he actually confessed.
For the past few nights, Chi Wang had imagined many scenarios in his head, but still couldn't predict how Su Lian would react.
He also didn't know if the confession he had prepared for so long would end in miserable failure.
"Someone like you is afraid of embarrassment?" Su Lian turned his head, his gaze curiously falling on Chi Wang.
"I'm not really fearless about everything. I'm not as brave as you think," Chi Wang responded with a soft "mm" before continuing quietly, "I'm afraid we won't even be able to remain friends, so I'm being a coward."
Su Lian thought to himself that to have such feelings, Chi Wang must really like this person a lot.
He didn't say anything more, just raised the can to his lips and took a sip. The taste was just as bitter, not very pleasant to drink.
If only beer were sweet, it could make one's mind go blank without feeling uncomfortable.
Chi Wang reached out and snatched Su Lian's beer can, quickly downing most of it to help empty it. "You can't hold your alcohol well. Drink less."
"But I want to drink a little," Su Lian stared at the bottle in his hand, lowering his voice, "Just a little."
His tone was different from usual, soft and gentle, almost like whining, making one's heart itch.
Unable to resist such a tone, Chi Wang handed back the remaining half can, instructing, "Just this much. No more for you."
Su Lian complained, "So stingy on your birthday."
Chi Wang responded, "I'm afraid you'll get drunk and act up again. Wasn't last time's lesson enough? This time there's no microphone for you to sing with."
"Speaking of last time, I have to say, Lian-ge, when are you going to sing for us again? Your voice is really good," Gu Anjiu leaned in, grinning as he spoke.
Su Lian took a sip of beer and threatened in a low voice, "I advise you not to mention last time."
"Okay, okay, we won't mention it. Let's talk about something else," Gu Anjiu set his beer can on a ledge outside the railing and rubbed his hands together. "We're all at the age of first love, so let's talk about our ideal types. Me, I like petite and cute girls. What about you, Lin Yan?"
Being suddenly put on the spot, Lin Yan's face showed a rare hint of embarrassment as he chose his words carefully: "I also like cute ones."
"Damn, as expected of brothers, I didn't think our tastes would be so similar, we actually have the same type. My god, what if we end up liking the same person? What should we do?" Gu Anjiu's imagination ran wild as he fell into distress.
Chi Wang laughed out loud and patted his shoulder. "Probably won't happen. His taste is better than yours."
With different sexual orientations, how could they possibly clash?
Su Lian's focus was on something else entirely. How come everyone likes cute people, he thought, even Chi Wang's note last time said the same thing.
What's so special about cute people? He slightly pursed his lips, not making any judgment.
Song Jiaci, who was focused solely on studying, furrowed his brow and thought for a moment before stuttering, "I-I don't know. A-anyway, I like being with Yan-ge. W-what do I need a g-girlfriend for?"
"Forget it, asking you is pointless. Let's skip this question for the kid. Lian-ge, what type do you like?" Having gone around in a circle, Gu Anjiu seized the opportunity to insert the main topic.
Originally, he just wanted to help Chi Wang ask Su Lian. The previous people were just paving the way, making things less awkward.
This wingman game was on point. Chi Wang exchanged a glance with him, expressing that it wasn't for nothing that they were friends.
Not knowing how the topic had jumped to this, Su Lian frowned. "What type do I like?"
Gu Anjiu let out an "Ah" sound, suddenly stammering a bit: "Y-yeah, we're all very curious what type the cool guy likes. If we hadn't been drinking today, I wouldn't even dare to ask."
The question of his ideal type stumped Su Lian, leaving him deep in thought.
He didn't know what his ideal type was. After thinking for a good while, he slowly spoke: "Mature and gentle?"
"Ah, the intellectual big sister type, I get it." Gu Anjiu cast a somewhat pitying glance at Chi Wang. It's over, he thought. His buddy Wang doesn't fit that description at all. Tonight's confession is doomed.
Chi Wang lowered his eyes to look at the new tie he was wearing, sighing slightly. He might not fit the "mature" part, but he considered himself to be gentle.
But there's a process from being young and naive to becoming mature and steady. He just hoped Su Lian wouldn't be stubborn and fixate on this point.
Seeing everyone's dejected expressions, Lin Yan quickly stepped in to smooth things over: "Many people's ideal types are completely different from who they actually end up dating. It's all about the feeling. If the feeling is right, maybe even gender doesn't matter that much."
Song Jiaci looked at him in confusion: "A-are you talking about Lian-ge, or y-yourself?"
"I'm talking about everyone," Lin Yan replied vaguely, glossing over the topic.
Su Lian let out a small sigh and tilted his head back, saying, "That's true. Who can really understand emotions?"
"Master of emotional theory, it's almost eleven o'clock," Su Lian glanced at his watch and reminded him again.
Chi Wang grabbed another can of beer and smiled helplessly, "You're like an alarm clock, even more anxious than me. Wait until I finish this one."
Su Lian lowered his eyes to look at the four empty cans beside him, not sure when he had drunk so much. He was probably troubled by something and trying to drown his sorrows in alcohol.
He didn't point it out, just waited for the person next to him to finish the can of beer sip by sip, turning it into another empty can.
As the wind blew, a faint scent of alcohol wafted from Chi Wang, not unpleasant, but rather subtly alluring.
Su Lian took half a step back, staring at the slightly intoxicated eyes, "Aren't we leaving yet?"
Chi Wang crushed the can, stuffed all the empty cans into a bag, and said, "Let's go."
When it was really time to end, Su Lian's heart skipped a beat, thinking to himself that Chi Wang was finally going to do the most important thing of the day.
Several cars pulled up. Gu Anjiu got into one, while Lin Yan and Song Jiaci got into another and left first.
Chi Wang grabbed Su Lian's wrist and led him to a car, "I'll drop you off first."
"My place is very far. You won't have time if you drop me off. I can go back by myself," Su Lian held onto the car door, feeling he was being incredibly thoughtful by constantly reminding the other to confess.
Chi Wang pushed him into the car and signaled the driver to start driving, "It's fine, no rush."
His casual tone made it seem like Su Lian was the one in a hurry.
Su Lian let out a light snort, too lazy to say more, and just leaned his head back against the seat.
Chi Wang raised his hand slightly, covering Su Lian's eyelids, his voice very soft, "It's a bit far to get there. Take a nap."
Su Lian wanted to argue that he wasn't too tired, but when the palm covered his eyes, his mind inexplicably started to feel dizzy.
He hadn't drunk too much today, at most slightly tipsy, but as the car swayed, he obediently closed his eyes.
After an unknown amount of time, Chi Wang shook his shoulder to wake him up, "Teacher Su, we're here. Get out of the car."
Su Lian stood dazedly on the road, a cold wind blowing past, spreading a desolate atmosphere.
Looking around, a whole patch of lush forest was shrouded in darkness, with no city lights or buildings visible. The scene was very unfamiliar.
He frowned and took out his phone to check their current location. This was a place he had never been before, "Did you make the driver take a wrong turn? This isn't my home."
"Let's just say I've kidnapped you. There's another place I want to go. Will you come with me?" Chi Wang tilted his head, gesturing for Su Lian to follow him up.
Su Lian was completely confused but unconsciously followed, looking at the deep mountains and forests with growing doubt in his heart.
After a few steps, he couldn't help but ask, "Did you confess while I was asleep, get rejected, and now you're coming to the mountains to end it all?"
Chi Wang laughed, "What are you thinking? If I wanted to end it all, I wouldn't go to such lengths."
"You never know. Maybe you want to find a beautiful tree branch, or run to the mountaintop and take a leap," Su Lian frowned at him. "It's not worth it. Even if you're heartbroken, you shouldn't do this."
Chi Wang raised his hand, pinching his forefinger and thumb together, and flicked Su Lian's forehead, saying helplessly, "Teacher Su, you really have a vivid imagination. But you did remind me, if I really fail, this pure land would be my final resting place."
"Don't talk nonsense." Su Lian was very sensitive to words like 'resting place' and his expression immediately changed. He raised his foot and kicked Chi Wang's calf, "Don't have such strange thoughts."
"Okay, okay, I was wrong. I was just joking," Chi Wang raised both hands in surrender.
The two walked slowly along the small path for a while, struggling uphill and panting, finally reaching the mountaintop.
By now it was close to midnight, but there were still quite a few people on the mountain, some even setting up tents, sitting inside chatting while looking into the distance.
Truly confused by this scene, Su Lian asked, "What are they waiting for?"
Chi Wang found an empty spot, took out a roll of cloth from his bag and spread it on the ground, patting it, "Sit down. You'll know in a moment."
"So mysterious," Su Lian rested his chin on his hand, looking around somewhat bored.
The moonlight tonight was quite good, with no heavy fog or thick clouds, and occasionally a few twinkling stars could be seen.
Such weather was rare in Fog City, which was shrouded in mist year-round, making even seeing the moon a luxury.
Staring at the night sky in the distance, Su Lian suddenly realized, "You brought me here to see the moon."
Chi Wang looked at the time and smiled, "Not just the moon. Three more minutes."
Time seemed to stretch infinitely. The two sat casually on the mountaintop, shoulders touching, staring into the distance. The sound of wind sweeping through the treetops could be heard from time to time, and Su Lian suddenly felt a chill.
Just as he was hugging himself, a weight settled on his shoulders. Chi Wang had found a jacket from somewhere and draped it over him, "It's cold at night. Wear this."
Su Lian lowered his eyes to look at the jacket, his fingertips pulling it closer around his chest, "Are you Doraemon? You have everything in your pocket."
"Teacher Su, we call it Doraemon, not Dingdong Cat. You're so cute," Chi Wang looked down at him, his gaze sweeping over Su Lian's brows and eyes, landing on his faint lips.
"Aren't you cold? Wearing just a black shirt to look cool."
"I have a good constitution. I'm not afraid of the cold."
Chi Wang loosened his tie slightly, checked the time again, and continued the countdown, "The moment to witness a miracle is about to arrive. Look over there."
Suddenly, the crowd nearby began to stir, followed by cheers and screams.
Following the direction of Chi Wang's finger, Su Lian looked up at the sky. Near the moon, a few stars flickered faintly, then streaked across the sky, quickly leaving several trails.
In the next second, more and more stars fell in succession, leaving brief moments of brilliance in the deep blue sky before disappearing.
It was incredibly dazzling and grand, impossible to look away from.
"Shooting stars?" Su Lian's expression was delighted. He turned his head to find that Chi Wang had closed his eyes at some point and was making a wish with his hands clasped together.
In the night wind, his eyelashes trembled slightly, his features looking excessively handsome in the moonlight, appearing utterly sincere.
Su Lian reacted after a second and also closed his eyes, making that unchanging wish to the sky.
When he opened his eyes again, the sky had returned to darkness, as if the previous spectacle had been just a stunning illusion.
"Did you know there would be shooting stars today?" Su Lian asked softly.
"Yes, I saw a forecast earlier and even called the planetarium to confirm. It's the last grand meteor shower of the year," Chi Wang looked at him with smiling eyes. "Did you like it?"
"I liked it. It was beautiful," Su Lian nodded, a bit dazed. He had seen the moon so many times but had never seen shooting stars before. This was his first time.
He looked at the sky with some regret, wishing he had paid more attention earlier, "Is it over already?"
Chi Wang raised his hand to smooth the messy hair on Su Lian's forehead, "Yes, shooting stars are like that. But you've made your wish, right?"
Su Lian allowed the gesture, feeling that whether it was because of the moonlight or the shooting stars, Chi Wang seemed especially gentle tonight, almost merging with the soft moonlight.
He lowered his voice, not wanting to break the beautiful atmosphere of the moment, "Didn't you just make a wish on your birthday? Another one?"
Chi Wang leaned back on his hands, casually stretching his long legs, and smiled lazily, "Afraid one wasn't enough. Two stacked together might have a buff effect."
"Oh, then your wish must be very important," Su Lian's eyes curved, a faint smile appearing on his face.
As their gazes met, the night breeze gently caressed them, and the atmosphere suddenly became tender.
Chi Wang's heartstrings quivered. After a whole evening of hesitation, he felt like the perfect moment to speak had finally arrived.
He looked away and took out a box from the bag he had been carrying, opening it and fiddling with the watch face inside, "The watch I bought before, I had Little Nine help me pick it up. Actually, I secretly sent it to you. It was too embarrassing when you put it in the lost and found, so I didn't dare admit it at the time."
When Su Lian received the gift that day, he hadn't opened it to look. Now, seeing the full moon on the watch face, it was as if Chi Wang had plucked the moon from the sky for him.
The watch was beautiful and exquisite. He did like it, but he couldn't accept it.
"Isn't it your birthday? Why are you giving me a gift?" Su Lian stared at the watch, closed the box, and pushed it back untouched. "It's too expensive. Keep it for yourself."
"I just wanted to give it to you. I've been wanting to for a long time, so I carefully chose a style you'd like," Chi Wang said softly, his gaze falling on Su Lian's eyes, almost unable to look away.
He looked at the gentle-faced youth in the moonlight, dazzlingly bright with a limitless future ahead.
Such a person was like the distant moon, only to be admired from afar, hanging in the sky.
Many words were stuck in his heart, all rushing to surge up, but he didn't know where to begin.
It was so difficult to break through that barrier.
"Teacher Su, I think I've had too much to drink. The wind's making me feel a bit dizzy," Chi Wang set the watch box aside and tilted his head slightly, using the excuse of alcohol to act silly.
Su Lian patted the head leaning towards him, but couldn't bring himself to push it away. He just raised his hand to touch Chi Wang's hair, saying, "So why did you drink so much?"
Chi Wang rested against his shoulder, chuckling softly, "Alcohol gives courage to the timid."
"As if you need more courage..." Su Lian turned his head and met the gaze so close to him, suddenly falling silent. He swallowed the rest of his words, his mind going blank.
He saw Chi Wang's gaze fixed steadily on him, filled entirely with his own reflection, both restrained and intense.
His heart suddenly skipped a beat. He straightened up, trying to move away, but his hand, cooled by the night breeze, was quickly grasped.
The other person indeed seemed drunk, his higher-than-normal temperature transferring through, making Su Lian's entire palm burn hot.
They fell into an strange silence, staring at each other wordlessly, the intimacy of their intertwined fingers magnified infinitely, growing wild.
Su Lian blinked gently, suddenly understanding the meaning of this silence, and instinctively wanted to escape.
"Actually, you're the one I wanted to confess to on my birthday. The message with the watch was true, and so were the words on the note."
Chi Wang suddenly pulled Su Lian's hand towards him, causing the jacket draped over his shoulders to fall to the ground unnoticed.
His lips brushed very lightly against Su Lian's earlobe as he murmured, "Su Lian, I like you."
These few words, carrying a faint scent of alcohol and warm breath, floated into Su Lian's ear. He felt as if his ears were ringing, his mind filled with an indistinct buzzing.
He was held tightly in Chi Wang's arms, his body stiff, his breathing suspended, his brain almost unable to process.
Several seconds passed before he uncertainly mumbled, "The person you like is me? Chi Wang, are you drunk? I'm a guy."
Chi Wang lowered his gaze to look at Su Lian's eyelashes, casting a heavy shadow on his face. If only he could hold him like this forever, how wonderful that would be.
He said softly, "I just lied to you. I can hold my liquor well, I'm not drunk at all. It has nothing to do with your gender. I like Su Lian, the person. Maybe it was love at first sight, maybe it's fate. I don't know."
Su Lian's heart was violently struck by the word 'fate', leaving him frozen in place.
Could there really be such a thing as fate? If it happened again, would Chi Wang still fall for him? It felt absurd.
His emotions were in turmoil now. His clothes were thin, and pressed against Chi Wang through the thin fabric, he could feel the other's increasingly strong heartbeat.
Beat after beat, it transmitted through their chests, almost causing his own heart to resonate in sync.
Su Lian opened his mouth, feeling as if he could hardly breathe in Chi Wang's tight embrace.
He raised his hand to pat Chi Wang's back, his voice very soft as he tried to soothe him: "Why don't we talk about this tomorrow when you're completely sober, okay?"
Chi Wang shook his head, setting aside his usual carefree attitude and looking at Su Lian with utmost seriousness: "Su Lian, I'm very rational and clear-headed."
"Because I like you, I feel pain for you and want to protect you. Because I like you, I care about your emotions and worry when you're unhappy. Because I like you, from the moment I realized my feelings, I wanted to tell you directly, but I was afraid of rejection, so I kept hiding it, not daring to speak up."
Su Lian stared into the deep eyes just inches away, seeing two tiny reflections of himself in Chi Wang's pupils, so close they almost touched.
His ears burned fiercely, their breaths intermingling subtly, feeling as if his whole body was about to catch fire from the heated respiration.
Many past details about Chi Wang flooded back to him - those restrained hugs, those gentle promises, involuntary compromises, inexplicable jealousy - everything seemed to make sense now.
But what was there about him worth liking? And how long could this affection last?
Su Lian felt he had become a coward, while the teenage Chi Wang was far braver than he had imagined.
He shrank back slightly, only to be held firmly in place, inseparable.
"Don't run away," Chi Wang stubbornly refused to let go, his Adam's apple bobbing as he spoke hoarsely, "It's November 13th now, Su Lian. But I still haven't received the gift I want most."
Su Lian's heart pounded like thunder as he asked dryly, "What gift?"
Chi Wang tilted his head to nuzzle against the pale neck, chuckling softly, "I've said so much already. Don't you understand, silly?"
Youth is always reckless, wanting to pluck the unreachable moon from the sky, hold it close, and hang it in their heart.
It was already late autumn, with howling winds at the mountaintop, yet at this moment, all was silent.
"Chi Wang, for you... a foolish hope."